There’s nothing like conquering a debilitating fear to make you feel fan-freaking-tastic!
I was tell-the-whole-world happy today. I literally told five of my friends at my dance studio how excited I was to have finally done a free spin properly in my Salsa Level 2 class. Basically, I was able to spin on the spot without taking extra steps. This is my third time taking the class (second time re-taking it), so you’d think I’d have had the move down perfectly by now, but I actually only just started doing proper free spins this month in either my Salsa Level 4 or 5 class.
One of my friends was surprised that it had taken me so long to get my free spins right, since I was the only person in my studio who had showed up to and taken every single spinning fundamentals class.
It was only when I got home and sat down to write this post that I realized how significant my new-found ability really is. You see, the reason why I was unable to do free spins properly before this month was because I was afraid to do them. I was so scared of losing my balance and falling over that I could never trust myself enough to keep my feet planted and just let my body spin freely on the spot.
This may not seem like such a big problem to you, but it is actually a huge deal to me. You see, one of my biggest fears in life — one that has kept me from doing and pursuing many, many things — is my fear of doing anything that involves going downhill or falling. As a child, I wouldn’t even go down the spiralling big kids’ slide in my local playground because it scared me to go down something so high. As an adult, I can’t even cross-country ski down a tiny slope without getting down on my bum and crab-walking, because to me, even that is equivalent to downhill skiing, which is something I find altogether too scary to attempt! The one time I decided to let go of my fear and sprint downhill, I actually tripped and split open my chin on the sidewalk. It needed seven stitches, and the scar it left inspired me to write a short story about how depressing it was.
“Letting” myself free spin is like letting go of a part of my fear. And with this letting go, I feel like I can now aim for higher goals with my dancing. Today, I spun myself faster and probably more times than I ever have in my spinning classes, because my fear wasn’t holding me back from doing so. I feel like there is hope for me yet to reach those six to nine spins required for the higher salsa level classes.
I’m still filled with nervous anticipation, but no longer scared stiff. BRING IT ON. 🙂